We grow up hearing fairy tales of a love that whisks us off our feet and gives us everything we’ve ever wanted.
I thought that sounded magical, until I realised that it was incredibly dependent and wasn’t going to give me what I really wanted – lasting happiness and love.
Because if we’re waiting on someone else to give us everything we’ve ever wanted – we could be waiting forever!
And gosh… the expectations. Ever felt like you haven’t been loved enough? Approved of enough? Treated well enough? Made to feel important enough?
That’s because your partner is dealing with the same ‘stuff’ (limiting beliefs, desires to be loved, childhood wounds) that you are. They’re trying to keep their own stuff together so much, they can’t be doing it for you too.
The answer to lasting love – is to find it within yourself first. To love yourself and fill yourself up, and instead of relying on your partner as your main meal – you’ll be able to enjoy them as a delicious dessert.
Our guest this week is relationship coach Emily Nature. Emily has always been fascinated by love and has learnt many lessons both through unfulfilling dependent relationships and through exploring the joy of self-love and intimate relationships too. What she learned over the years is that in order to feel truly loved, we must first love ourselves from within. So in this episode we talk all things about how you can find the lover that never leaves – yourself!
Inspired takeaways include:
- Why your past partners (and maybe even current) treated you in a way that is less than ideal – how your relationships are great feedback mechanisms for how your own self-love journey is going.
- “You make me so happy” and why these words are incorrect. How we often mistake the happiness we create for ourselves from within as being created by another.
- How our desire to be loved actually takes us AWAY from the love we want (we can get so distracted by sharing love that we forget to love and appreciate ourselves).
- What needs to be similar and aligned in a relationship for it to work, and what are the things that we can disagree on happily.
- How to remove the pressure in a relationship to suddenly find it’s so much more fulfilling than you perceived it to be with all those loaded expectations beforehand.
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The Lover that Never Leaves
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Was it good for you?
I know we’re not in bed together right now, but if we were… Was it as good for you as it was for me?
I looove recording these interviews. So tell me, has this podcast inspired you? Has it opened you up to believing in new possibilities for your life?
Would you want that for the people you love too?
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It’s an honour to serve with you.