A few times recently I have wondered, what’s the point of it all?
We are such a purpose-driven, goal-oriented society, so I wondered…
What’s the goal of life?
Perhaps if I knew the goal, maybe I could get there faster (I’ve always been a high achiever!).
And then I realised that whether you believe in future and past lives, in reincarnations, in heaven and hell or that you just simply cease to exist after this lifetime…
It all seems a little bit pointless.
(Keep reading with me – this article, at least, has a point)
I don’t know if there’s a goal to get to at the end of this life.
We are all born, we’ll all die.
Is the point of it to get a big home and a fancy car?
Is it to have a family?
Is it to have an incredible career?
I mean, is it even to fulfil some deep-rooted purpose inside of you?
You know, the one we think will make life so much more fulfilling when we discover?
And then I kind of think, well if I’m here for a purpose, and everyone else is here for a purpose, and everyone finds their purpose and we live purpose-based lives – what then??
We all achieve our purpose. We become an increasingly inspired, increasingly enlightened version of humanity and yet we still die.
Whether you think dying means one thing or the other, I’m asking about the purpose of this life. Right. Now.
What did we decide to come here for?
I’ve asked myself a few times and the only answer that I can come up with…
The answer that felt the best for me…
Is one I got from Abraham Hicks –
To expand joyously.
I have never met someone who didn’t enjoy being good at something or finding a new love, stepping into a better version of themselves, seeing the world around them manifest in a way that shows them they are growing…
It feels to me like the point of life is to live, to continue to grow and expand and become more of who we are FOR THE PLEASURE OF ENJOYING IT ALONG THE WAY.
Because if we don’t enjoy it, what is the point?
If we set goals for our external reality – new cars, new house, new job, the profit in the business, the ideal partner, a holiday, personal development retreat, launching a new product offering, speaking on a subject you love – but you’re not enjoying it as you go along, seriously, what is the point?
Even if we fulfil our purpose and touch thousands or millions of lives, if OUR lives don’t feel alive and full and nourishing and fulfilling… it doesn’t seem worth it to me.
Especially not if we feed them the same coolade and then they promptly go out armed with their purpose for their own non-fulfilling or joyous lives.
If we all do that – I think it’s counter-productive, hey?
We’re so focused on the goal – even on our purpose and why we were born – that it can take the fun out of it sometimes.
(Yes, I’m talking from experience!)
If I wake up and have a ‘purpose’ for that day that is focused on what I have achieved, and then I perhaps do not achieve that goal, then I feel crap.
And sometimes, I achieve that goal and I still feel… crap.
If I’m stuck inside on a beautiful day, or ignore a call from a friend who needed me, or have an argument with my partner because I’m stressed about the goal I’m focussed on.
But if my goal is to do whatever I enjoy that day, whatever brings me joy and feels nourishing, then maybe I will complete the achievement that I wanted anyway…
But at least I will feel good WHILE I do it – not just at the end.
The point of a road trip isn’t to get from A to B.
It’s the memories, the laughter, and the singing along to the radio in the car.
That’s the point – THE JOY IN THE ADVENTURE ALONG THE WAY.
The point of a personal development retreat isn’t a certificate. It’s the experience, the growth, the development and the new connections that you make while you’re there.
The point of a family isn’t the family photo Christmas card that you send each year or to have someone there at your grave to say goodbye to you. It’s to learn, to laugh, to love and to learn to love even when it’s challenging.
The point of making love isn’t an orgasm. It’s to connect with somebody that you love and to feel that magic, that spirit, that divinity that emerges at the point when two beings completely open and surrender to love.
The point of life is not what will be written on the grave stone or what they say at our funeral.
Because regardless of what you believe happens after death, if you haven’t lived this life in a way that lit you up and nourished your soul and inspired you and made you wake up in the middle of the night passionate about something…
If you haven’t lived your life mostly feeling fulfilled and worthy and enough and loved with all of your heart and followed your joy…
If you haven’t lived your life in a way where you learned and laughed and expanded and took a risk and had it pay-off, and sometimes had it not …
What the f@*k is the point?
Even if you make the difference that you are here to make to so many others (and I do believe we are here to make a difference), even if you achieved your business and career goals, even if you raise a beautiful family and have a few wonderful holidays with them…
If you haven’t lived your life focusing on how you can bring more joy into it, how you can feel more full, alive and nourished and fulfilled…
Then I suspect that you’ll get to the end and wish that you did.
You can’t take ANY of this with you wherever you go next, so you may as well enjoy it while you’re on this magical journey called life.
If we always waited until we achieve something in the world to feel good, I think that we are doing it backwards.
What if, instead, we focus on feeling good?
What if, instead, we did the things that FELT GOOD.
I know we like to have goals and to achieve them…
But what if we recognised that none of those things will make us feel good when we finally achieve them (because there will always be another goal, and another…) and that we must give OURSELVES permission to feel good right now, in the journey, along the way?
What if we give ourselves not only permission to feel good right now, but permission to make it a priority?
To wake up each day, forget about our to-do list and instead ask ourselves what would feel good right now?
Whenever I have done that, the things that needed to get done were still done, and they got done in a way that felt a shitload better than if I had focused first on the external and waited until my to-do list was crossed off completely before I allowed myself to feel good.
So today, not that you need it, but just in case you feel you might…
Today I GIVE YOU PERMISSION to start your to-do list with ‘feel’ and end it with ‘good’.
To start and end each day with that as your priority.
Can you imagine a life lived where you started and ended with your joy in mind?
At the start of our lives, as children, we naturally do.
And from what I’ve observed, as we age and get nearer to accepting that our time will come to an end at some point in this lifetime, that’s what we focus on too.
Actress Helen Mirren said that if she could give her younger self one piece of advice, it would be to use the words “F@*k off!” much more frequently.
To stop playing by other people’s rules, and to live life on her own terms.
We start our lives living by what makes us happy, and we end our lives doing that too.
Yet we spend the middle of our lives following the ‘should’s and the script that was written for us by society or even by our own ‘goals’ that we believe we must achieve to be happy.
So let’s choose today to instead live the middle – and the MAJORITY – of our lives focusing in the same way that matters most at the forefront and at the end – FOLLOWING OUR JOY.
Because, as the Dalai Lama said, “the purpose of life is to be happy.”